Will you be visiting Scotland this trip, Allan? My wife and I were there last year, during the campaign, and one jolly cab driver described the man as “a whispy-haired, leather-faced, bawbag-eyed tosser, what otta shut ‘is feckin’ geggie, go ‘wa an’ bile ‘is head, he should!”

We’re pretty sure he meant it as an insult.

“Heaven is a library of every book ever written, eternity to sit and read, and a bottomless cup of the best coffee.”

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