DAD (40) enters the passenger door and sits. SON (16) Enters the driver door and sits.

DAD: Belt. Belt first.

SON: I know.

DAD: Before you even…

SON: …put the key in the ignition, I know!

DAD: …put the key in the ignition…

SON: Belt.

DAD: Belt.

DAD watches SON. After a moment, SON reaches for the seat belt. DAD does the same. They both belt up in sync.

DAD: Now…

SON: Brake. I know! Brake!

DAD: Check the brake.

SON rolls his eyes and pulls on the handbrake

SON: Brake is set.


DAD: Next?

SON: Gear, I know, gear. But dad, this is a new car. It wouldn’t even let you stop the engine if the gear wasn’t in Park!

DAD: How old were you when I learned to drive?

SON: Oh God.

DAD: How old?

SON: How old were you when you learned to drive?

DAD: Fourteen.

SON thinks a moment.

SON: Negative ten.

DAD: How many years more experience driving do I have, then?

SON thinks a moment.

SON: Twenty-six.

DAD and SON lock eyes for a few moments. Without looking away, SON thumps the gear shift with his hand.

SON: Gear’s in Park.

DAD: Okay, pre-check done!

SON: Key in.

SON puts the key in the ignition.

DAD: Key in.

SON: Ignition.

SON turns the car over.

DAD: Ignition.

SON hesitates. DAD turns to look at him. SON begins looking around the dash and console, trying to think of what is next.

DAD: Don’t panic. You got this.

SON: Uh… Uh…

DAD: Think.

SON becomes more frantic.

DAD: How’s your hair looking?

SON looks at DAD, puzzled. Then gets it.

SON: Mirrors!

DAD: Mirrors. Center mirror.

SON adjusts the center mirror, becoming more excited.

SON: Center mirror!

DAD: Left.

SON adjusts left mirror.

SON: Left mirror!

DAD: Right.

SON adjusts right mirror.

SON: Right mirror!

DAD: (excitedly) You got this!

SON: I got this!

DAD: You the man!

SON: I’m the man!

DAD: I think you’re ready! I know you’re ready!

SON: I’m ready!

DAD: Engine off.

SON: What?

DAD: Engine off.

A BEAT. SON turns the key and kills the engine.

DAD: (holding out his hand) Key.

SON gives DAD the key. A BEAT.

SON: You said I was ready.

DAD: You are ready.


DAD: I’m not ready.

DAD unbuckles his belt, opens the door and exits. A BEAT

SON: (calling after him) We’ll try again tomorrow! Tenth time’s a charm!

“Heaven is a library of every book ever written, eternity to sit and read, and a bottomless cup of the best coffee.”

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