Meditation Before Mediation
I will not still my mind. I will ignore it. I will not stop my thoughts. I will let them pass through without attention. I will not attend to that which is not worth attending when I still have to finish the dishes - damn!
I will let the thought of the dishes pass by without comment, without focus, without need to decide that this or that thought is worthy of the moment. I will breathe, as I always breathe, without conscious attention to the in… out… in… out… uh. I am not counting the seconds it takes to complete each inhale and exhale… they pass as they always do when I am not attending to my breath, which I am doing now in order to let the counting draw my attention away from the sheets in the laundry. Did I put them in the dryer — damn — no I am breathing and only breathing.
I will watch my breath only so far as to watch what is never watched, to find in such focus that which will… will…
The mind cannot be quieted, only left to its own devices and given attention only when needed. I let it chatter on, not letting my mind, the one I am thinking with here, pay attention to the mind focused on… on…
Has the mail come yet?
No! I don’t have two minds! One talking and one not, one watching the other! Absurd. The mind I am talking with here is the only one and it is.. not … slowing down. So. I will again focus on breath, and let the counting of the breath take my attention from the incessant talk, the chatter, the endless commentary from… from…
From?
Breath. In… out… in… thousand-one-thousand-two-thousand-three. Out… thousand-one-thousand-two-thousand…
No.. not counting! Just. Breath.
…
Damn.
