In the movie Ben Hur, The Sheik Ilderim hosts Judah Ben Hur and one of the Wise Men, Balthazar, for dinner. Balthazar believes in the goodness in men’s hearts and follows his savior’s example of “leading with love and patience”, as you put it.
As the old man leaves the sheik’s tent, Ilderim says to Judah, “Balthazar is a good man. But until all men are like him we must keep our swords bright.”
Lead with love and patience, and keep your sword bright. But keep it sheathed until needed. Warriors do not brag and brandish their weapons.